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Joke of the Day

"My toddler begged to go swimming and then threw a tantrum because she didn't want to get wet in case you were on the fence about having kids"

"Super excited about staying at my daughter's place so I can eat her cereal and leave the empty box in her cupboard."

"Hey did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change color? It had a reptile dysfunction"

"Is Pepsi ok? *I pull out my phone and send a text* *2 hours pass* *an out of breath Dikembe Mutumbo runs in wagging his finger* No it is not"

"At Toys ""R"" Us, Barbie and the Chuck Norris actions figures must be at least eight aisles apart by law. After all, it is a children's store."

"Can Norwegians make a documentary about anything other than the Kon Tiki?"

"A known sex maniac, on the publication of his memoir, was asked how he felt about his past exploits. ""I remember them fondly."""

"What do you call something that has nothing to do with elephants? Irrelephant"

"What is the official cereal for the Rio olympics? Cheer-Rios"

"Why does Bob Ross not use a condom? Because he doesn't make mistakes, only happy little accidents."