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Joke of the Day

"A man is getting head from his wife... ...and tells her that he wants to cum in her ear. ""I'll go deaf!"" she says. ""Yeah? Well I always cum in your mouth, but you never shut the fuck up!"""

"What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full."

"The inventor of auto-correct has died His funfair will be next monkey."

"What do you get if you chop off Trump's hand? A Trump stump!"

"Fastest way to occupy bored kids is to announce we are going to clean Voila Suddenly they all remember plans they've forgotten Ah quiet"

"What does a dyslexic tiger and a bus driver have in common? A bus driver can't change his stops."

"Two boys were eating a snack lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said ""Watch out for worms won't you!"" The first one replied ""Why should I? They can watch out for themselves."""

"I tried explaining to someone why smoking weed is bad for you. To be blunt, I don't think they were paying much attention."

"Why will global warming eventually confuse women trying to reach orgasm? Because it will constantly be changing the position of the clittoral."

"Who's the healthiest member of the Army? General Wellbeing"