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Joke of the Day

"It's crazy how quick women are to cut each other's throats over a guy! I mean I'd understand if it were shoes....but a guy???"

"Q. What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies? A. Bingo!"

"Steve Buscemi always looks like he suffers from an intestinal parasite."

"A little bit of rain and everyone forgets how to drive. Saw one guy try to start his car with a pancake."

"[Record Shop] Me: Hi, have you got anything by the Doors? Shopkeeper: No, we have to keep all exits clear in case of emergencies."

"Why didn't the Seahawks give the ball to Marshawn Lynch? They couldn't fined him."

"Hub: What's this? Me: A divorce jar. Every time we fight you put a dollar in & I'm a little closer to freedom. Hub: *puts $100 in* Me:..."

"Storm What do call if it was raining Nazis? A Heil storm"

"Did you hear the one about the pregnant bedbug? She gave birth in the spring!"

"When someone spaces out their ""ha ha ha's"" in a text I read it in Count Dracula's voice"