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Joke of the Day
"Steve Buscemi always looks like he suffers from an intestinal parasite."
Next Joke
"[carrying sleeping cat out of burning house] seriously, what purpose do you serve"
"Climate change is such a joke... Even the Antarctic ice sheets are cracking up."
"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? OMG!!!!!!! BREATHE!! BREEEEEATHE!!!!!"
"Man in a BMW pulls up next to a kid in the street... and says, ""Excuse me, lad. If I give you 5 bucks will you come in my car?"" Kid says, ""Give me 10 and I'll come in your mouth!"""
"My wife and i lost 150 pounds combined! Shes much prettier without those other 149 weighing her down"
"I remember your face, and I even remember what we talked about, but what the hell was your name again?!"
"A skeleton walks into a bar.. Something something beer and mop.."
"What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? Pulls her pants up and goes home."
"Calling your girlfriend Dumbledore.. ..cause she's the real head master"