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Joke of the Day

"I haven't talked to my wife for 18 months I don't like to interrupt her."

"I don't need to run a marathon to load up on carbs and ask someone to wrap me up in a blanket."

"I was gonna put on my cowboy hat and sit on my patio shirtless to showcase my abs when I realized I don't own a cowboy hat, a patio, or abs."

"Claustrophobic people are interesting Because they always try to think outside of the box."

"What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil? Pre-tanned leather."

"I heard hookers are now offering the ""Romney"" for $1,000. It includes every position."

"A dyslexic walks into a bank and yells: ""Hands in the air motherfuckers! This is a stick up!"" Because he's just dyslexic and can still speak fine"

"If only 10 people were to stay alive in this world. what number of healthy males do you think is a good number? And how many females?"

"How did the Greek army separate the men from the boys? With a crowbar"

"Due to the prostitute's arm injury, she can do no more than 5 handjobs a night. Damn handie-cap!"