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Joke of the Day

"How did the Greek army separate the men from the boys? With a crowbar"

"Lawyer: ""Now that you have been acquitted will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?"" Client: ""After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning I'm beginning to think I didn't."""

"""Just obsess about that stupid thing you said for another hour, then maybe we can move on."" - My mind."

"Hello darkness my old friend, I fell and broke the lamp again"

"Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants? Incase he gets a hole in one"

"why was X afraid of Y? because 2Y-14/3X=0"

"My ex wife asked me to check on her house while she was on vacation.... Google Earth says everything is just fine."

"Why Did The Alcoholic Comedian Quit Performing? He couldn't handle the boos."

"Why do conspiracy theorists have such long beards? Because they don't know how to use Occam's razor"

"Why was Cleopatra angry? She was on her pyramid. Stolen from Whose Line Is It Anyway."