32714

Joke of the Day

"A dyslexic walks into a bank and yells: ""Hands in the air motherfuckers! This is a stick up!"" Because he's just dyslexic and can still speak fine"

"""Hot, lo-cal singles in your area!"" - Diet ads for Cannibals"

"I just bought a bidet The salesperson told me it'd clean the shit out of me!"

"How does a Space Marine from Warhammer 40K get fit? By doing Squats."

"""Who let the dogs out?!"" - Pavlov getting angry"

"When a friend asked what the sex is like with an older man... I simply said, ""He's got a lot of experience, under his belt"" ba dum tsss"

"Please continue to tell me how the life you created for yourself is so miserable instead of taking actual steps to change it."

"I once wrestled an anaconda for 3 days... Then realized I was masturbating."

"Why did the fish monger cross the road? Just for the halibut."

"How many Irish folk singers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb and one to sing about how grand the old bulb was."