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Joke of the Day

"My wife was fixing the caulk around our tub... Me: You should use some caulk softener to make that easier. Wife: Is that like a picture of your mom or something? (actual conversation)"

"What do you call two Mexicans fighting one another Juan on Juan"

"What is the proper way to address the king of the ghosts? Your ghostliness."

"Next time you're asked ""What's Up"" respond ""A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house."""

"Tyfus applied for a job in a factory. The company doctor who was giving him a physical asked ""Have your eyes ever been checked?"" ""No"" said the worker. ""They've always been brown."""

"A man exclaims to his wife, ""I can see 6 years into the future..."" ""Thanks to my 2020 vision!"" His wife replies, ""How long have you been waiting to use that joke?"" He happily says, ""Since 2009!"""

"I tried to go to the brothel today but there was a sign on the door It said ""Beat it, we're closed."""

"You never realize how boring life is until someone asks you what you like to do for fun."

"""Stop texting me. If I wanted to go on the second date, I wouldn't have stolen all your jewelry."""

"""Stop anthropomorphising me, bitch""- my cat, while i'm writing this."