54543

Joke of the Day

"It's like the people in this restroom don't even want my help unbuttoning their pants. STOP RUNNING AWAY I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU"

"Naming that space movie Gravity makes about as much sense as naming Jurassic Park something like There's No Dinosaurs In This."

"Why do Lannisters hate turtles? Cause they can't stab them in the back"

"Why is a wizard so good in bed? Because he is never late, nor is he early. He reaches orgasm precisely when he means to."

"Why didn't Hannibal Lecter have any friends as a kid? He was told not to play with his food."

"What's white and 12 inches long? Absolutely nothing."

"I once tripped and fell into a deep crevasse. Sorry, that's the hole joke."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Stegosoreass."

"Apparently a dog whistle in inaudible to the human ear. Just think, my pet could be sitting in front of me whistling a tune and I can't hear a thing."

"How will Trump fund the wall? He'll get the money from *wall* street"