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Joke of the Day

"I was going to commit seppuku the other day. But I didn't have the guts to go through with it."

"what is better than roses on your piano? tulips on your organ"

"In his next movie poster, I wonder if Ice Cube will be mildly annoyed by whatever is going on around him."

"Signs that things aren't going well: 1) your gums bleed when u brush your hair. 2) u pray for the demise of the same 6 people every day."

"Why does Irish bean soup have exactly 239 beans in it? (Irish accent) Because one more and it would be too farty."

"Doctor's Office Roses are red Violets are blue I have an uncomfortable Bladder issue"

"Are we still burning witches? It's the 21st century. We should be microwaving them."

"Theres one thing that you can't say on Reddit: [removed]"

"I got thrown out of the topless bar today... I felt like a boob..."

"If Caitlyn Jenner were a super hero, what team would she be on? The Ex-Men."