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Joke of the Day

"So I was wondering whether any of my friends could possibly teach me quidditch... ...and then I thought, ""wait a minute, I know one. Oliver would""."

"The teacher asked Jimmy, ""Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?"" Jimmy replied crying, ""Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"""

"Hey people waiting in line to get into a club. . . you should probably do us all a favor and stay in there until after the election"

"I wanted to rope down this mountain... but I found it quite rappelent."

"i bet today is the most confusing day in harlem!"

"Yo mama's so fat... Yo mama's so fat that we had to put the real joke in the comments."

"VILLIAN: all this money is mine BANK TELLER: help us Velcroman, he's getting away VELCROMAN: *stuck to the floor* who puts carpet in a bank?"

"I'm reading this amazing novel called ""Dictionary"", I'm only halfway through but I'm pretty sure the Zebra did it...."

"What has two legs and two legs Dog"

"I watched Canadian porn today... 2 girls 1 Stanley Cup ----------------- Credit Jeff Ross"