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Joke of the Day

"Me and my Girlfriend just broke up We had different views on history, I wanted to Hitler and she was just Stalin."

"Why did the suicide attempt of the stormtrooper fail? He tried to shoot himself but missed."

"I heard the Sandy Hook kids wanted books But instead they got magazines."

"My friend crashed his plane recently his life has been heading in a downward spiral."

"What is a bachelor's favorite fruit? Cantaloupe"

"Y'know, Hitler wasn't all that bad... He did kill Hitler after all."

"What is worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust"

"When someone at work asks you what you're doing this weekend, just pull a lettuce leaf out of your pocket and slowly start licking it."

"Wife: My mom is watching our kids for the night. Me: Oh, baby. Do you know what we can do? *falls asleep at 7 p.m.*"

"What do you call a midget with no teeth A gum job."