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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months? A: An Apple turnover."

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Irish."

"American Politics That's it, that's the joke"

"What do you call it when a German hits you with a loaf of bread? Gluten Tag And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread? Flour power And when a lot of people do it at the same time? a rye-ot"

"You say jump I say how high. You say run I say how fast. You say lets hang out I say no."

"I stayed up late last night to watch the greatest boxing match of all time Ali vs. Parkinsons"

"Loomis: Does your dog have a license? Fenton: Hell no! I do all the drivin'."

"What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your Honor."

"Why are none of my jokes funny? Because I have a shitty sense of humor."

"Want to hear a joke about potassium? K. I was gonna tell a joke about sodium but then I was like, Na."