120664

Joke of the Day

"I like my men like I like my coffee. Tied up in a burlap sack and dragged through Columbia behind a donkey."

"I would have been a gastroenterologist... But I didn't give a shit"

"cop: ""sir im afraid your dog is too cool for this neighbourhood"" me: [turns his little baseball cap round right way] cop: ""ok that's better"""

"Paris Hilton's IMDB page should only be accessible on April 1st."

"Give a man a fish, where's he supposed to put it? Get away from him you weirdo."

"Whenever I drink whiskey, I turn into Kermit the Frog. I start talking funny, I turn green, and then I end up fucking a fat pig"

"What did Will Smith say to Carleton when he asked if he was ready to leave their yoga class? Nah I'ma stay."

"Did you know... Jesus invented cross-training"

"Did you read the news about corduroy pillows? They're making headlines everywhere!"

"What do you call the urinal section of the bathroom? The place where all the dicks hang out."