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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Lamborghini? The pricks are on the outside of a porcupine"

"Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you're better off staying home with no pants on."

"please god what the hell did i do to deserve all this *flashback to 12 years ago when i threw a flashbang at my own team in CounterStrike*"

"How do you know if a guy was in the Navy SEALs? Don't worry, he'll tell you."

"Yo momma so fat, the closer you get to her, the slower time passes for you in relation to an observer outside her gravitational pull."

"What's got two legs and bleeds? Half a dog"

"Last night I had a dream that I was a muffler. When I woke up I was exausted."

"What's the difference between a well dressed man and a tired dog? The man wears a full suit, the dog just pants"

"*calls son at college* Pop quiz, son ""Ok"" What's the opposite of a hot dog ""Um...a cold cat?"" Exactly. Now let's talk about Fluffy"

"Wearing sunglasses makes you look (_) *Shady.*"