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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a well dressed man and a tired dog? The man wears a full suit, the dog just pants"

"How do you know if someone is half texan and half Canadian? It rhymes when they say. ""Keep at eye out for a coyote."""

"Why was the horizontal plane judged in Germany? It was x-axis"

"Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't!"

"Federal Express is to merge with United Parcel Services The resulting company will be called Federal United Parcels Or FedUp for short"

"My top 5 (in no particular order) 1. 3 2. 5 3. 2 4. 4 5. 1"

"What is black and white and red all over? A Dalmatian with a bad sunburn."

"Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together, Hermione went alone and got attacked by a troll."

"""let's put computers and keyboards in our cars. now let's go catch all the people typing on tiny keyboards in their cars"" - cops"

"A talking penguin walked into a bar and the bar tender said: ""Hey, we don't usually get a lot of talking penguins."" And the penguin responded: ""Well, no wonder - at these prices!"""