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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a well dressed man and a tired dog? The man wears a full suit, the dog just pants"

"Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? Because the grass tickles their balls when they run."

"Nephew: What's love? Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!"

"Why does Saudi Arabia import so many camels from Australia? They've got to get their 72 virgins *somewhere*"

"I don't want to tell an anal joke... But fuck it."

"I was going to take another trip to the pencil museum but decided it was pointless."

"Yesterday I fell, landed on my back, and could not roll over and get up. At the time I was wearing a Turtleneck Sweater."

"We don't need a Voting Rights Act. If we just give all the votes to rich people, then democracy will just trickle down to everyone else."

"What are a Corporation's Favourite Letters? Capital I's"

"Q: Ever heard of the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine? A: It wooden run."