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Joke of the Day

"My uncle told me he only had three days left to live. So to cheer him up I stabbed him in the jugular vein... &nbsp; He didn't get it."

"I just went to church and had communion. Ok it was a gas station and I had 2 donuts but I did say a prayer before scratching my lotto ticket"

"Whats that smell? Auschwitz."

"Asked my 65yo mom what she'd like for Christmas and she said ""Surprise me"". Hope she likes her new pet python."

"How do you feel when there is no coffee? Depresso."

"Why don't many Greek men move to other countries? They don't want to leave their brothers behind"

"Did you hear about the pedophile musician? He was caught fingering A-minor."

"What's the difference between 10 dead hookers and a Porsche? I *don't* have a Porsche in my garage."

"What's the difference between a hungry girl and a horny girl? Where she puts the cucumber."

"""I have a newt named Tiny."" ""Why do you call it Tiny?"" ""Because it's my newt."""