181218

Joke of the Day

"What religious people say: ""I have you in my prayers."" What non-religious people hear: ""I'm trying to raise Aquaman on this cat radio."""

Next Joke
 
"A Jewish kid wants to go to the mall... and asks his dad for forty dollars. ""Thirty dollars?"" he replies. ""What do you need twenty dollars for?"""
"What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter? ""Quack! Quack! Quack!"""
"A psychic told me I was going to die a virgin So I raped her and asked for my 20$ back"
"What does an Apple Watch do when it gets hungry? It goes back four seconds."
"Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving? Because all they serve is cold turkey."
"TIL that Funimation has an unreleased Dragon Ball Z episode where they just improved the whole script. Oops. Wrong dub. (Real oops. Meant to type improvised)"
"You know what they say about citing a source with more than 2 authors.. It's not hard et al."
"Police Chief: Why do you spend all your time trying to hit flies? Officer: You assigned me to the swat team didn't you?"
"Which composer do lumberjacks prefer to listen to? Chopin"