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Joke of the Day

"My spirit animal is this 9 yo, so calm and polite during girl sleepover drama, who just told me ""literally, nothing is interesting to me""."

"Why do you get ebola from a feminist? Because they don't shave, going down on them would be basically eating bushmeat."

"""I have $50, less than an hour, and a ton of cocaine. Let's make a commercial!"" - every furniture store owner"

"Top 10 inappropriate songs to sing at a children's karaoke party; 10 - Sometimes When We Touch"

"If you're upset about seeing a middle finger on TV, you're going to shit yourself when you see everything else going on in the world."

"How to make a trump sandwich Russian Potato Bread Lots of Baloney Peanut Butter One Small Pickle"

"A patient said to a psychiatrist, ""I keep wanting to cover myself in gold paint."" The psychiatrist said, ""Sounds like you have a gilt complex."""

"Once I had completed my final exam, my professor told me to turn it in to one of the teaching assistants. Good thing I have been practicing my origami."

"What will Stevie Wonder's next album be called? Songs In the Key Of Death"

"Another MBA joke. funny! By the time you finish your MBA, you have most probably got one of these: new house, new job, new car or a new partner (Copied from Twitter @ManasBhardwaj)"