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Joke of the Day

"My spirit animal is this 9 yo, so calm and polite during girl sleepover drama, who just told me ""literally, nothing is interesting to me""."

"Rolls down car window. Throws caution to the wind. Spends an hour cleaning caution off the side of the car."

"What do you call a skinny misogynist? Skinny or fat, I find that they prefer to think of themselves as ""egalitarian""."

"If I had a nickle for every time I heard the word Diversity at the Oscars.. I still wouldn't give a shit."

"Whats best joke aboot canada? I'm canadian and i was just wondering"

"What's the definition of a narrow squeak ? A thin mouse !"

"How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris? Don't know. Its never been done before."

"What do you call a stubborn Egyptian? In denile"

"It's disturbing when the water pressure in a drinking fountain drops when a toilet is flushed, but even more so when it gets stronger."

"[During sex] Me: I know you want me to be ""naughty"", but I can barely breathe in this Hamburglar costume."