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Joke of the Day

"I'm no blood spatter expert, but by the look of this bathroom floor, you're pulling your tampons out way too fast."

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are usually around a buck fifty, and deer nuts are always under a buck."

"i only watch superbowl for the commercials.i am unsure how to spend my surplus income &desperately need suggestions via talking animals"

"Greece just demanded royalties from all countries in the world for using democracy ""As for Russia, they don't have to pay us anything""- Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras clarified earlier today."

"I painted my computer black thinking it would run faster. Now it doesn't work."

"You might think a man's anatomy is quite similar to a woman's.... But there's a vas deferens."

"Satan: Welcome to hell! You can spend all eternity walking barefoot across legos OR you can wear these crocs. Me: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

"People complain about the weather and politics till the cows come home... and then they complain about how there are cows in their house."

"Good Girls Vs Bad Girls Difference Between Good Girls And Bad Girls Good Girls Open Few Buttons In Hot Atmosphere, But Bad Girls Open All Buttons To Make The Atmosphere Hot."

"My new girlfriend says a small penis doesn't bother her... ... but I wish she wouldn't have one at all."