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Joke of the Day

"My friend called the movie Pixels the world's longest abortion Funny, I didn't realize it was a porno."

"Did you hear about the transformer who lost his ability to change into a seven-sided shape? He's a de-septagon."

"My girlfriend just texted me ""myspacebarisbrokencanyougivemeanalternative?"" Does anyone know what ""ternative"" means?"

"How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Call and tell her about it."

"Wife: What did you get me for Mother's Day? 3-year-old: A cake. Wife: Where is it? 3: You haven't made it yet."

"When I tell jokes my friends call me a faggot but I suppose it's just because they think i'm a bundle of shticks."

"I just invented a new catch phrase What's yer Rush Limbaugh? Get back to me immediately and tell me if you love it or just like it."

"This PS4 Pirate Simulator game is rubbish! Bringing your ship into harbour is a nightmare! I guess it's just a bad port."

"I watched Mad Max and now I'm riding my dog around my living room using two bananas as guns"

"What do cows call Frank Sinatra? Old Moo Eyes!"