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Joke of the Day

"How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid."

"Earlier today I had a Titanic thought. It was *unthinkable*."

"I only believe 2 things 1. Respect a woman that says no 2. Never take no for an answer"

"Native Americans are the most successful strippers. Cause when they dance, they make it rain!"

"What did the dog say when he bit the sandpaper? Nothing. He just grit his teeth."

"What do you call a sick bird from Mars? An ill Eagle alien. Original joke created for my 5 year old."

"I'm a giver. *gives you a hard time*"

"I buy reverse osmosis filtered alkaline water for my dog and he prefers to drink out of the lake."

"Pretty upsetting that gummy worms are actual size but gummy bears are not."

"Today I found my first grey pubic hair. I got really excited, but not as much as the other people in the lift."