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Joke of the Day

"What did the dog say when he bit the sandpaper? Nothing. He just grit his teeth."

"My magic watch say's you don't have any underwear on... Oh, you do?... It must be 15 minutes fast."

"Mr. Buffalo: I caught my son making out with a girl Me: SWEET! Mr. Buffalo: And a boy Me: So, I guess you could say he's your... Bi-son"

"I recommend all Apple users turn off the iCloud function on their devices... not only are you at risk of your nude photos leaking, but now you're at risk of getting the new U2 album too."

"Why do Rednecks love cheeseburgers? Because they are in bread."

"What's gray and can't fly? A parking lot."

"what does god light his cigarettes with? a match made in heaven .-."

"So I just saw the music video for Radioactive, and if you think fighting stuffed animals is weird... ...Imagine Dragons."

"A pedophile was taking a small child into the woods at night.... The kid say, ""These woods are really scary"". The pedophile replies with, ""You're telling me, iv'e got to walk out of here alone""."

"[tsunami approaches] Me: At last I will feel oblivion's sweet embrace. Tsunami (inexplicably reversing): I have a boyfriend."