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Joke of the Day

"There was a mathematician who couldn't afford lunch. He could binomial."

"I ran out of toothpaste recently So I've resorted to brushing with soap. It's pretty gross, but on the plus side I've really cut back on my swearing."

"Ted Cruz announced he is running for president as a Republican. That surprised me; I thought he was running as a joke."

"a girl to her mother: Mom! I was stopped at a red light and got hit by a car! --oh no! who rear-ended you? lots of guys, mom! But can we go back to talking about my accident please?"

"What do you get if you cross a frog with a decathlete? Someone who pole-vaults without a pole."

""" I saw Lisa today... Dats hilarious!"""

"A man walks into a zoo... The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.... It's a shitzu."

"I like my men like I like my laundry Clean and hung"

"Marriage is like a seesaw. It's not fun if one of them is fat."

"Did you hear about the new Indian version of Oliver Twist? ""Please, can I have samosa?"""