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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you cross a frog with a decathlete? Someone who pole-vaults without a pole."

"""Some say I have a drinking problem"" *pours glass of water on lap*"

"I was thrown out of my cloning exam for copying the kid next to me."

"Every time I survive a sneeze while driving on the freeway it feels like I jumped out of a plane w/out a chute and lived."

"Teacher : The word politics - can you give me an example of how to use it ? Pupil : My parrot swallowed a watch and now Polly ticks !"

"If there's a sock on my doorknob... It means I'm having sex with the other one."

"Which U.S Presidents are not buried inside the United States? Carter, the Bushes, Clinton, and Barry-O"

"Hope my marriage can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It'll take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid."

"[US] Mexican Submarine Destroyed in the Gulf of Mexico Oops wrong sub"