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Joke of the Day

"My son keeps talking to me in binary even though I ask him not to. What kind of boy is he? A noughty one."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? He just made it across and his buddy was like BAACk BAACK."

"Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes? In a pellet court!"

"A dodgeball player died recently... He will be missed."

"What did the three-legged horse do when it started to rain? It ran to the unstable."

"When I know I've posted a great tweet, I walk away from my phone in slow motion like I'm Jason Statham walking from an explosion."

"STOP TEXTING ME. IF I EVER PLANNED ON TALKING TO YOU AGAIN I WOULDN'T HAVE BORROWED ALL THAT MONEY."

"My friend owns a bakery Last week it burnt down Now his business is TOAST"

"having sex w/ a girl who has multiple personalities would be awesome unless one of those personalities was hitler"

"I got into an argument with my parents about video games. It was a stupid reason to fallout for."