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Joke of the Day

"Zen master: Do you possess the Buddha nature? Me: Well, I've spent 49 days under a tree. But that was just laziness."

"What does cows say when they want someone to move? Muuuuuuuuuuuuhve..........."

"Whenever I'm down in the dumps, I get myself new clothes. They smell a little bit but at least they're free."

"Off to work... A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, You should've been here at 8.30!' He replies. Why? What happened at 8.30?'"

"Q. How do you know a blonde has been using the computer? A. There is cheese in front of the mouse."

"A complete list of movie roles turned down by Nicolas Cage:"

"If you had more money you'd be happier."

"My gym instructor says that Warm-Ups are extremely necessary. So, I brought donuts along this time but I can't find the microwave oven."

"What do you put in an actor's drink... [OC] to raise the level of anticipation at the Oscars? [Expectorant](/spoiler)"

"""I HATE TACOS!"" ...Said no Juan ever."