25158

Joke of the Day

"Do you wanna see a magic trick? Watch me pull something out of my pants!"

"Q: What's the difference between a chicken and a grape? A: They're both green except for the chicken."

"""I can't stand when people say they hate both of the presidential candidates."" --Stephen Hawking"

"Just spilled beer on my crotch, so to save myself from the embarrassment, I pissed my pants. Can't have people thinking I'm a sloppy drinker"

"Every girl wants to be swept off her feet. It's when you put her in the trunk that she starts to freak out."

"I just found a jar in the fridge, with expiry date 21/12/2012. I looked at it twice, and indeed, it was mayannaise!"

"I swear to god, the next car that cuts me off will be driving in front of me."

"What if Obama keeps the nuclear codes in a folder on his desktop called ""Missile-aneous""? That'd be cute."

"Four Mexicans drowned over the weekend Newspaper headline: Quatro sinko"

"IHTGYATSWTFIM = I had to Google your acronym to see what the fuck it meant."