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Joke of the Day

"He pasta way? Here today, gone tomato. You cannoli do so much before thyme is up. Never sausage a tragedy. Olive my thoughts are with you."

"What do you get when you cross human DNA and goat DNA? A strongly worded reprimand from the university's board of regents, and an immediate withdrawal of your funding."

"Never judge a man 'till you've driven a mile with his wife."

"Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No, neither have they."

"Why didn't crab and lobster like to share? They were both two shellfish"

"A pickup like I thought of when i was younger. If I was a duck and you were a fish, and we were swimming in the same pond, what would that make me? On top of you."

"Give me five hundred good reasons you think I'm too demanding."

"Roses are red, Vilots are blue Your title is English, your video should be too."

"Why do you get ebola from a feminist? Because they don't shave, going down on them would be basically eating bushmeat."

"MTV has named Miley Cyrus the best artist of 2013. Kinda fitting I guess, since MTV has no idea what music is anymore..."