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Joke of the Day

"Tibet and Tiwan REJOICE! Oh, nevermind. Wrong Chyna."

"I have a Victoria's Secret model's body!! (in my basement)"

"What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society."

"What a weekend...trying to get the courage to look at my credit card statement from last night."

"DATE: you smell so nice - what are you wearing? ME: Febreeze"

"My master plan is to forget sunglasses at every location in the world so wherever I am I'll always have sunglasses."

"Hell hath no fury like a pizza pocket that hasn't had proper cooling time."

"When updating your status, always proof-read carefully to see if you any words out..."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school? He woke up."

"After being away from Reddit for a day, how do you keep up with what you missed? You go to 9gag."