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Joke of the Day

"Sitting next to my wife today, I said ""I love you"", She replied ""Is that you or the beer talking?"" I answered ""It's me... Talking to the beer"""

"When i dont understand a joke I read on /r/Jokes I don't get it"

"I told my friend not to cry over spilled milk. I mean come on, just because I spilled boiled milk over her"

"What did the penis say to the asshole in the morning? This bowl ain't big enough for the both of us."

"I like it when I open a document and my monitor says WORD. And I'm like, YO."

"If you watch Sleeping Beauty backwards it's about a prince who was so charming he kissed his girlfriend and she fainted for 17 years"

"I was in a cab today and the cab driver said... ""I love my job, I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do."" Then I said, ""Turn left."""

"What did they find in the toilet in the star ship Enterprise? The captain's log."

"*walks into interview* Thanks for coming in today. I'm Mr. Maballsonya, but please call me Phil. *walks out of interview*"

"Apparently there's this Pokemon character that's a pile of garbage with a face so now I'm famous I guess."