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Joke of the Day
"So the Irish are pissed... ...drunk. ... Yeah."
Next Joke
"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You have to look for the Fresh Prince."
"Did you hear about the two antennae who got married? The wedding was okay, but the reception was GREAT"
"What's black and smells like Shiraz? Tyrone Lannister"
"the doctors gnash their teeth and howl through the night, but they dare not breach the lines of my apple orchard"
"TIL that DNA originally stood for National Dyslexic Association"
"Some people say they have a hamster on a wheel in their head. I have 4 squirrels fighting over an acorn."
"If you loiter in a Tibetan spiritual leaders sandwich shop every day, then you dilly dally in the Dalai's deli daily."
"I'm really irritated by people that are missing phalanges. I guess I'm lactose intolerant."
"[family game night] Me: do u understand now, grandma? U understand the rules now? Mum [tappin my shoulder]: she gets it. Loosen the headlock"