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Joke of the Day

"""Alcohol is just water with feelings in it,"" said the girl who failed chemistry."

"Consequences One of the more interesting consequences of having watched *Pulp Fiction* before reading *Hamlet*, is that I pictured Marcellus as a big black guy."

"Last year's Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the ocean. That's probably why the ocean's full of currants!"

"""We have here the results of your fraternity test."" (*opens envelope*) ""Kyle... You are NOT the bro!"""

"(Someone finally shuts off a car alarm) Philip Glass: (sticks head out of apartment window above) HEY I WAS LISTENING TO THAT"

"It's sad when your closest friends get remarried and you know it'll be another 2-5 years before they're single and ready to hang out again."

"What's that one song that's like ""duh duh duhduh duh"" and they sing about girls and clubs and dancing. I think it's Top 40, if that helps."

"Found an old Tom Jones CD and my underwear drawer flew wide open and all my undies threw themselves at my stereo."

"What do you call a chicken coup with more than two doors? A chicken sedan."

"My sister married a black man He's a lawyer. So now I have a brother in law."