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Joke of the Day

"This guy says to me, ""Your girlfriend looks like a man"" I said ""Your girlfiend looks like a man too: the invisible man!"""

"Why do feminist picnics suck? Because no one ever makes sandwiches."

"Spelling is very important in cosmetic surgery no one wants buttocks injected into their face"

"Apparently shouting out ""he has a gun"" isn't the best way to let everyone in the bank know that you see the security guard. I know this now."

"Why can't Elvis Presley drive? 'Cause he's dead."

"Today I saw Flash walking by, on the street. He must really be a shitty flash."

"Where do vampires learn to suck blood? Law School."

"Lazy people fact #4564321564 You were too lazy to read that number."

"I saw Kony kissing Santa Claus"

"Guy calls to HR: - Hi. I'd like to discuss IT security specialist position at your company. - Ok. Send your CV, please. - You already have it at your desktop."