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Joke of the Day

"I used to get sad when the leaves fell from the trees... But then they always grew back, so that was a releaf."

"HIM: You know what we should do at our wedding reception? [at the same time] ME: Murder-suicide HIM: The chicken dance!"

"What's the best trade a palindrome has ever made? A nut for a jar of tuna."

"What do you call a whale with erectile dysfunction? Mopey Dick."

"Chalant isn't even a word. Well played nonchalant. Well played."

"If all foods were packaged like honey they'd all come in these miniature fake human containers which would be weird as hell"

"What you gon' do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk? I'ma get get get get you a Neti Pot - a concerned vet to an elephant"

"Why did the engineer put a clock under his desk? He wanted to work overtime."

"Why do baked goods always have an urge for sex? Because they're in heat."

"A man walks into a bar... ... because he didn't see it."