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Joke of the Day
"I've just sold some glass rockets to Kim Jong Un. I hope he's pleased with his new, clear weapons."
Next Joke
"Man walks into a bar... mitzvah. There was no beer so he left lol"
"How long does it take a tweaker to go shopping? An hour 5 minutes for the Ramen noodles and foil. 55 minutes to fix the squeaky shopping cart wheel."
"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a thief? Nothing."
"I'm writing a song about milking a cow. It's all quarter notes."
"Going as a hashtag for Halloween so everybody ignores me."
"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? No one's ever paid to have a lentil on their face."
"I've eaten enough chinese food in my day that my fortune cookies have started to contradict one another"
"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate it's tit a lot"
"My girlfriend said I was stupid for taking unnecessary risks. At least I think that's what she said. I was too busy trimming my pubes with a chainaw at the time."