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Joke of the Day

"I registered as a sex offender.. ..just so I wouldn't have to wake up early to drive the kids to school."

"What do 'Free bird' by Lynyrd Skynyrd and my orgasms have in common? 5 minutes solo. Meh."

"Why are there not more black golfers? Because the bus route doesn't go to the country club."

"Hey you! Did you lose your nose? I just found it in my business."

"Where are PCs formed? In the computerus."

"Why dont witches wear panties? So they can grip the broom."

"What does a little sister ride? A nii san"

"Me: I just broke a nail. WebMD: Finger cancer."

"What did Jesse say to Woody when they were having a threesome with Buzz Lightyear? You've got a friend in me"

"A Doctor gives his patient the bad news that he only has a week to live... Patient - ""No, I don't accept that! I'd like an alternative fact please"" Doctor - ""Money-wise, you are now set for life"""