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Joke of the Day

"You guys know I'm not one to brag, but my cooking is ""to die from."""

"*Puts on apron* *Places Pop Tarts on plate* *Removes apron*"

"Why can't Stephen Hawking dance? Because he's white."

"A new survey shows that a fifth of British men have no idea how to turn on the washing machine. I find chocolates or flowers usually do the trick."

"Where do flying pigs land? the airpork!"

"What's the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? The boy scout comes home from camp."

"Trump did great, but... ...imagine how much he would have won by if Clinton hadn't rigged the election."

"Things that kinda rhyme... Very Hungry Caterpillar Scary Money Counterfeiter"

"I'm worried, about that one cute sweet innocent girl who keeps liking my fb post."

"A dad and his son are getting competitive while playing Smash Bros. The dad says: ""I fucked your mom!"" To which the son replies instantly: ""Yeah, well I've been deeper inside her than you'll ever be!"""