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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce patch? Seizure salad"

"If this phone were really smart, it wouldn't let me call people."

"I just called up the phone company and put em on hold. Every 5min I come on an tell them how important their business is to me. Please hold."

"Food bank Im that poor i cant even get help from the food bank, they said I'm 2 tins of Tomatoes and a banana overdrawn."

"4/20 = National Weed Day 4/21 = National Drug Testing Day 4/22 = National Unemployment Day"

"What did the German physicist call his beer mug? Ein stein."

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs they screw in dirty vans..."

"I mean, NHL teams have father-son road trips all the time I don't think they're as common in the NBA though..."

"I am genderfluid I sexually identify as mayonnaise. If you can't stand it than you neeed to ketchup."

"What's the difference between a gun and a feminist? One of them doesn't throw a fit when triggered."