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Joke of the Day

"Two muffins are sitting in an oven... The first muffin looks over and goes ""man, it's really hot in here."" The second muffin replies ""HOLY SHIT! A TALKING MUFFIN!"""

"My body is a temple but only because it hates Palestine"

"Why the musician sold his computer... Not enough gigs."

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one hesrs it, Do the squirrels sleep sideways?"

"I bought my friend an elephant for their room. They said thank you. I said don't mention it."

"What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable? The wheelchair"

"Like many people, I had no idea what to do after I left school. But after thinking about it for a while, I decided to go home."

"My only goal is to run into Steven Spielberg, beg him to let me pitch a movie, and then pretend like I don't realize I'm describing Jaws"

"Sometimes it's fun to pretend that all old people are part of a 'who can take the most steps over the shortest distance' contest"

"What will santa bring your fish this christmas? A scale letrix!"