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Joke of the Day

"What's something that the inventor doesn't want, the buyer doesn't use, and the user doesn't know about it? A casket"

"Ever have one of those dreams where you're falling and you wake up when you hit the ground? I had one of those, except I didn't wake up after I hit the ground."

"My uncle Terry told me not to worry, that love would find a way, but on the other hand he once took a shit in a hammock"

"What do you call a dead blow fish? .. A blew fish."

"""You can't teach a dog new tricks."" - bad dog trainer"

"The great fire of London in 1666 started after dropping my mixtape too hard."

"Trump/Pence 2016! Or ""TP"" as I like to call it. ;)"

"I'd rather the Ring girl pop out of my TV than have the ""Congratulations you have won an iPhone"" voice ever scare the shit out of me again."

"Why do so many Jews enjoy smoking? The ashes reminds them of their parents."

"Whats the difference between illegal and unlawful? One is against the law and the other is a sick bird"