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Joke of the Day

"Bill Clinton has been battling the same illness for 17 years. Pneumonica."

"I'd estimate about 28% of the drugs you've taken were smuggled here in someone's asshole."

"I still remember what my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket... ""How far do you think I can kick this bucket?!"""

"My reaction to jokes where the punchline is [removed] after seeing so many of them [removed]"

"TIL The queen bee has sex with up to 40 males per day. Just like your mom."

"What do you do when an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub? Throw your dirty laundry in there with some detergent."

"How do police know that princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders under the steering wheel."

"Back in my day... You could go into a corner store with a dollar and come out with two Cokes, three candy bars, and a magazine. Now, fucking security cameras everywhere."

"What are spiders webs good for ? Spiders !"

"Volkswagen announces it will open a facility in Israel to make a new advanced vehicle... The new models are are so advanced not only will they stop on a dime, they'll actually pick it up."