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Joke of the Day

"Volkswagen announces it will open a facility in Israel to make a new advanced vehicle... The new models are are so advanced not only will they stop on a dime, they'll actually pick it up."

Next Joke
 
"My friend thinks her husband is cheating on her. I don't have the heart to tell her he's just out chasing Pokemon."
"Why does Garfield hate Mondays? He doesn't have a job."
"I'm so lucky that I get to wake up every day and do what I love. (eat)"
"I have just been kidnapped by a fat dude in a red suit, shoved in a bag and taken to the north pole and wrapped up. Who put me on their Christmas list?"
"Today I asked my mom what she did for a living, she replied ""I'm a headmaster"". To which my dad replied ""yeah she is"""
"Do you know why the bike couldnt stand by itself? It was TWO TIRED!!!"
"What's red, white, and black all over? a newspaper"
"I'm going to a trial in Great Sept of Baelor today, AMA. Edit: Wow, this blew up!"
"Ever wonder where the happiest place in the world is? It's gate 25 @ Kansas City airport after they announce 2hr delay for flight to NYC."