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Joke of the Day

"Me: *stumbles in front of boss at work* Boss: haha have a nice trip, see you in the fall Me: *takes 8 month vacation*"

"There's been and explosion is a French cheese factory... All that's left is de brie!"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick into my girlfriend's ass."

"Seal walks into a..... Club (old, I know but one of my favourites)"

"Its snowing really hard... It is really hard to see anyone in the outside world. I guess you could say I'm Snowden."

"Ever heard of the movie ""Constipation""? Nope. --- That's because it hasn't come out yet."

"I tried to walk into Target But I missed. - Mitch Hedberg"

"A ship carrying blue paint has collided with a ship carrying red paint in the English Channel. 32 sailors have been marooned"

"Which American president was not guilty? Lincoln, he was in a cent"

"What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like? Depends."