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Joke of the Day
"Which American president was not guilty? Lincoln, he was in a cent"
Next Joke
"I told my waiter the same thing i told my plastic surgeon. Give me chicken breasts."
"If what we are doing here is art, then my Tweets could be classified as kindergarten finger painting."
"[male bank teller gives my niece a sucker] Me: What do you say? Niece: My aunt's single, do you have money? Me: lol how embarrassing! Do u?"
"The Pen is mightier than the sword... Cuz, you know, you can't draw dicks on faces with swords."
"I'm sorry' and I apologize' generally mean the same thing Except at Funerals"
"2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17,19 etc were the years when I was in my prime."
"What does Donald Trump call a hundred dollar bill? Trump change"
"Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her!"
"I bought crappy music for 5 cents today, but the guy ripped me off. As he ran off, I yelled ""Hey, I want my nickel back!"""