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Joke of the Day

"What the difference between jesus and a picture of jesus The picture only takes one nail to hang."

"I'm not saying delivering a baby is easy, but I'm pretty sure all I need is a box, some tape, and a stamp."

"The recommended age to have a Ouija Board is 8+ years old. So, you need to be 21 years old to drink alcohol and 8 to summon the devil."

"What's the opposite of shell shock? Shell expectation"

"Can someone please lecture me on their political views in an aggressive and condescending tone so I may realize the error of my ways?"

"What do Engineers use as birth control? Their Personality."

"A police officer confronts a man who he thinks is high on marijuana. ""How high are you?"" He asks. ""No,you said it wrong, it's 'Hi! How are you?'"""

"The 209 members of fifa voted on the presidency yesterday sepp blatter won in a landslide victory with 8000 votes"

"Two mexicans are playing Call Of Duty... It was A Juan v. Juan match."

"Is sure that at a certain point, you are going to need to come to terms with your retardation."