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Joke of the Day

"My brother, Max, asked me to come up with a nickname for him. Now we just call him Maxx."

"Pro-tip Ladies, try to refrain from plucking that one crazy hair from his nose while he's sleeping. He won't think it's as funny as you do."

"Why can't an angle lease an apartment alone? Because he has to cosign"

"TIL if you buy the new MacBook Pro There is no escape."

"I can't control my urge to pull tube tops down."

"What is a traitor? A tray shaped dinosaur. Credits go to the wife for that one! She still giggles when she tells it."

"What do you call a Mexican child molester? A Pedrophile."

"I have a lot of growing up to do... I realized this the other day... inside my fort."

"Whats the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I haven't paid $500 to have a garbanzo bean in my face."

"Why are people so sad in Ferguson? Because they live in misery"