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Joke of the Day
"I've got the eye of the tiger, heart of a lion, and... a lifetime ban from the zoo."
Next Joke
"What's an Alzheimer patient's favorite horror movie? The Blair...Which project? [Made my roomie laugh at least]"
"Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but... Catscan."
"I always ask Subway workers if THEY want double meat, then wink. Then I get kicked out."
"I was blind for a while after eye surgery. Those were dark times."
"How come Mr. and Mrs. Claus don't have any kids? Because Santa only cums once a year and its down the chimney!"
"Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice"
"*whispers to an avocado* ""I'm the good kind of fat, too."""
"Good news, you survived the horrific car crash. Sadly we couldn't find the other guy's arms but we managed to reattach all four of yours"
"The 4 stage of life: 1. You believe in Santa Claus 2. You don't believe in Santa Claus 3. You are Santa Clause 4. You look like Santa Claus"