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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I'm getting off a plane I like to go up to the pilot, lean in really close and whisper ""I had my phone on that whole time."""

"I like my coffee like I like my women..... ....ground up and in the freezer."

"A guy with a rock on his head hit someone and was charged with basalt and hattery."

"People keep saying Supermodels are struggling with bulimia But I'd say they're actually really good at it."

"I've got loads of jokes about undelivered letters. But people just don't get them."

"My weight loss plan is to skip breakfast and lunch... And then eat seven dinners."

"Me: You can just keep that pen. Coworker: Sure? Me: Yeah. I noticed you don't wash your hands in the restroom. Cw.. Me: I told everyone."

"*takes long drag from cigarette* *stares off into the distance* *slowly glances down at hand* *lights cigarette*"

"Cow joke What's wrong with Bessie? She looks like she's in constant pain! She has mooootiple sclerosis"

"What's the smallest instrument in the world? An e-lectron."