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Joke of the Day

"A Scotsman walks into a bar.. Normally there is a Welshman, Irishman and Englishman, but they're all in Marseille at the Euro's."

"I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals... fcuking livid"

"A man is going to sleep, when his wife decides to surprise him with a blowjob"

"How did one dinosaur insult the other? Yo mama so stupid she gets excited seeing a shooting star."

"why don't women wear watches? there's a perfectly good one on the stove"

"What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set ? A boa constructor !"

"Why do ruler manufacturers make a big thing about them being shatterproof? Was there a ruler shattering epidemic that necessitated this?"

"You're not in a serious relationship until he leaves you in a room alone with his phone."

"FDA approving female viagra next week. Or as Bill Cosby calls it, a ""spritzer"""

"I don't know why everyone is making such a big deal about Black Friday... Personally, I think all Fridays should matter."